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Is success a dirty word?

Hello guys

for a while now there has been a quote floating through the internet that has been credited to the Dalai Lama saying that

“The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane. And these qualities have little to do with success as we have defined it.”

Actually this was originally a quote by David W.Orr if my research is right, but for the sake of this newsletter it really doesn't matter who said it, but it does hit a nerve. When I first read it on top of a picture of the Dalai Lama I had very mixed feelings about this quote, knowing that it would give a lot of people the excuse they needed to NOT go for their dreams. It would also allow people to feel that it is better for the world that they are not successful and that made me very sad.

Do I disagree with the quote? Not at all. I actually feel it is spot on and we need more people who care for the greater good, who are healers, peacemakers, storytellers and lovers of every kind. But I never understood why that stood in opposition to being successful.

The people I work with are often exactly that: storytellers, healers and lovers of all kind and they are often very successful with it and yet it is this word SUCCESS that often creates a massive resistance in them to actually go out and do what they love most, what they know can touch the hearts of many and may even heal them. They hold back with their talents because being successful has become such a dirty word…

But let me explain: the first thing we need to do is to address what success actually means and especially what it means to you.
As used in this quote, Success is often read as the better lifestyle, the sexy partner, the fancy car, the big house and an overflow of money in the account. Having all you want on the outside. Still I don't see anything wrong with it in its essence, however if the money and the external belongings are all that measures up to equate success we do indeed have a problem.

If the only drive is to have more than the next person, come in first, and accumulate more of what we don't really need, then yes - We don't need more successful people. And I have worked with enough clients who had all that, who were incerdibly successful and yet were incredible unhappy, torn and empty at the beginning of our journey together. They were mostly confused that they can't be happy now that they have achieved what they thought would make them happy..

And here lies the clue to what success really means, at least to me.

The oxford dictionaries define success like this:
The accomplishment of an aim or purpose!

I believe that aim or purpose is always to be happy!!!

Happy with who I am, being able to explore and expand my talents whatever they are. Living what I was put on this earth to do (and that does not have to be some big purpose of healing the world, this can be anything that fills you with joy and makes your heart sing.) Success to me means being able to live those qualities and sustain myself with that in a lifestyle I feel suits me. And if you reach that level of happiness first and it reflects in the house, the car and lifestyle, than that is a beautiful and inspiring thing to see. It always was for me, because it allows others to live their purpose and dreams as well.

But why am I so passionate about this? Because I see so many people who don't allow themselves to be successful. Or when they are they dont allow themsleves to be happy in living their dreams. They sabotage themselves in their successes for various reasons. Some might fear that they will fail along the way and so they hold back, others don't want to take the risk of being laughed at or are scared of what it means when they leave the inner circles they have known. One thing I have learnt over the past 9 years of working with the high achievers in various industries is that THE FEAR OF SUCCESS is as real as the FEAR OF FAILURE.
And often it has to do with what I feared the quote above will do. Success becomes a dirty word!

We might feel judged for our drive. We are afraid of loosing our friends and not being loved the same way we are now. Will they only like me for my achievements then? We might believe that all successful people are liars and therefore we cant allow ourselves to ever be successful.

In the last 2 talks I gave I did an exercise for people to explore their innermost believe about success and about themselves. And interestingly enough in both talks people's mindset around successful people was: They are annoying! And this came from guests whose aim is to be successful. Why would you allow yourself to be something that you won't like?

Do you see the dilemma? In their belief system becoming successful will ultimately mean that they will also become annoying and that they will have to choose. Be nice or be successful.
And of course that has nothing to do with the truth. It is just a belief that will hold you locked in firmly of struggling with being successful.

So I say the world needs successful people, because what the world really needs is people who are happy to be who they truly are, with all their magnificence, sharing their talents. Just imagine the healers, lovers, peacemakers and storytellers we would have. Their aim and purpose of being truly who they are would inspire everyone else to do so and in my humble opinion this sounds a rather beautiful place to be in.

So what are your dreams and desires, what makes you really tick and your heart overflow with joy? And are you aligned with being successful in being that? Are you aligned with being successful in being you and let your world reflect that?

In this week’s trance coaching session we will address exactly that. We will help you not only allow yourself to be successful, but align with your true self and talents, so you can be what you were born to be: You, happy and successful. Everything else is just a script I would advise you not to follow anymore.

Join us in the online trance group here if you are not a member yet. The TC group is a monthly membership where you not only get your regular new trance coachings with what I call a mini workshop before hand, but you also have access to all past trances on Self acceptance, releasing the fear of not being loved, chakra balance and releasing the resistance to positive change and more.

Here is to your success, your magnificence and who you are meant to be!


Are you resisting positve change?

Good morning all

The last few days have been an incredible accumulation of synchronicities for me, teaching me yet again that energy follows focus and that what we focus on expands. It is the little things as well as the big ones that point us in the right direction, but that also show us where our inner focus really lies. Let it be the title of the book that your friends puts on the table, which is exactly saying what has been on your mind for days. Let it be a conversation on the streets you overhear that gives you the answer to the question you have been mulling over for a while. Or let it be a word that keeps appearing everywhere and is seemingly aligned with what is going on in your life. You see the same name written on a billboard, then on a car, you might hear it in a song and suddenly a friend you haven't heard from for years with that name runs into on your way to work. You better stop and find out what that meeting is all about.

I have learnt to take those signs and synchronicities very seriously and they have proven to be some of the most powerful pointers of what I need to do in order to be happy, allow into my life what I aim for, or even let go of what I need to release. Syncronicities are evidence that you have changed your perspective and your filters that I speak of so much in my programmes and that we all have. Synchronicities are evidence that you are opening up more and more towards the new experience you might want.

Now it is time to take notice, take action and release the resistance to change.

The resistance to change you might ask? Yep that seems to be the biggest back holder for so many of us. Pretty much every person I have ever met is saying I WANT CHANGE (somewhere in their life) yet pretty much no one ever said I WANT TO CHANGE.

Because change means leaving your comfort zone, the unknown, the place where you know what you gonna get. And even though that is often not what you want, subconsciously it is more comforting to get what you already know even though it might not be comfortable at all. God knows I have experienced this struggle many times myself and it still catches me off guard sometimes when I am not cautious of my mindset and an old fear is being triggered. But the aim is not to have no triggers anymore, the aim is to be able to decide on how I want to react.
It is about having an option where having an option simply wasn't an option before.

Now there is the choice to change and that is when synchronicites appear to help you stay on track.

When I teach my workshops I usually start with an introduction and then go straight into a trance coaching session to release the resistance to positive change in our life. This allows us to see new opportunities that we usually wouldn't notice. It allows us to objectively listen to what we can do rather than dismissing new ideas by default because it doesn't fit our existing belief system. And so as we allow ourself to change, and release the resistance to change new doors will fly open, new opportunities will arise and you will have it much easier to take inspired action and create the change you really long for.

The resistance to change is what keeps us safe - or so it seems - because it keeps us out of the danger of being laughed at, of being seen, of being vulnerable, of failing, also of being successful, of being abandoned by our friends or family. Change brings all these dangers with it or so we think subconsciouly, but when we explore this in our sessions, usually these dangers aren't dangers at all, consciously they make no sense and aren't true at all and yet they hold us firmly in a place of not moving forward.

I can't tell you in a newsletter what your resistance might be as these are very personal paradigms that everyone holds for themselves, (that is why personal coaching is usually so powerful), but I can show you here how you open up that door for yourself and release the resistance to change.

You can start by stating a powerful intention, that you are ready to let go of what is holding you back. What ever that might. The more you look in that direction the more you will now notice those synchronicities pointing you the right way, often encouraging you. They might also show you where you are holding yourself back and so if an old pattern keeps popping up be grateful for the insight and say to yourself
I am ready to change, I am ready to let this go.
The biggest game changer is that you are willing to change and I would have a mantra ready that I like a lot:

Yes, it is important to say “an even better version”, for there is broken or wrong with you taht needs fixing. You are already awesome as you are and we want to acknowledge that first for you to then grow even more.

If you want to take this another step deeper please join us in this weeks online Trance Group where I will exactly address this topic. In all this mindfulness and meditation TRANCE GROUP will take it a whole step deeper and I will take you through a deep level trance called


Although we meet live online on Thursday the 24th at 1pm London time, the recording will go straight into your membership folder where you can access and use it as long as you like, along with the other trances we record bi-weekly. You can read more about this group in the last blog here:

Once you join you have immediate access to the latest two recordings called
Body Healing and Self Acceptance. This way you don't have to wait till Thursday and can start your inner work immediatly.

You might be holding yourself back to fully experience your gifts and talents, but remember you are magnificent beyond measure and I would like to invite you to welcome positive change now.

To your magnificence.

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